Adela Arceo at The Domes with Arizona Photo Events. She is never dull.
Many of my female Facebook friends have adopted pseudonyms. Some of them use words such as Riot and Chaos. I know of a Morticia. I have yet to see Lilly Munster in the group. And I’m not counting the instances of simply altering real names for the sake of privacy as my friend Emyrald does. I have a good friend who goes by Reenie.
I wonder if this is part of a larger trend to fill the void in public spirit left by men who have become apathetic and docile.
I would like young men to have a sense of what has changed that makes the world different for you than it was for men 60 or 80 years ago.
Television has been ridiculing fathers for decades and men sit and take it. Schools demand conformity, obedience, and competition among students without regard for the destructive effects on learning. Robert Reich noted today on Facebook that Stanford University remains small so it can be elite. That’s the spirit of teaching?
Teachers tell us we can get good grades as long as we behave. Fathers tolerate so much abuse at work from unskilled and unhappy bosses that they project a kind of hollowness when they return home. They fail as role models as warriors and hunters because they cannot see those qualities in themselves.
Three generations of men used to live in the same house. They talked, told tales, gave advice, and modeled that elusive thing called masculinity. Now grandpa lives in Florida and visits once in a great while.
We don’t value leadership in general. A huge and priceless literature gathers dust on the shelves. We motivate by rules, not by spirit and enthusiasm.
My point is that if leaders are to deal effectively with motivation, they are going to have to be on familiar terms with that side of our nature. If they are, they will understand that even in the most apathetic, the most materialistic, or the most unimaginative members of a group there is something waiting to be awakened, wanting to be awakened.—John W. Gardner, On Leadership
Women, especially young women, most likely feel the vacuum left by docile men who will do anything for a buck, or perhaps for a roll in the hay, and whose knowledge of being a hunter is limited to altering their physical appearance with ink and hair. The women I know want to bring some force and power into play even if they have to fill in for the men.
Sammiey shows a tattoo, and a lot of spirit.
I watched a fellow who might have been 40 years old begging for money on a median strip recently. A few days ago I paid a young lady a small cash advance on her next modeling session with me. I volunteered it. In contrast, I couldn’t get past the male beggar fast enough. The beggar’s sign said anything helps. He was dreaming. Nothing he prescribes for himself is going to help.
I also wonder if the increased number of tattoos women are wearing is related to a desire to make bold statements. We are in need of a tremendous increase in boldness, and based on what I see it will not be coming from the men around us. One of the common criticisms we offer to women who get tattoos is that they will regret them later in life. My friend Richard Ruthsatz, by pure “coincidence”, sent me a link to this website that shows people with some age and their tattoos. It has been viewed more than a million times.
Mr. Gardner wrote eloquently of men who just stand in the way: “Too timid to lead, too vain to follow, his game was turf defense. He was a master of the hidden move and the small betrayal.” He adds that this fellow was an expert in calculated unresponsiveness. There is a lot of that going around. I think the phrase calculated unresponsiveness is a fitting motto for the current condition of manhood.
I had a long breakfast this morning with a friend who needed to talk. A married male she knows made physical advances to her. She rejected him, and he became angry, and rude in other ways. She placed some blame on herself for allowing him to think it might be appropriate to move on her in this way. I offered her my point of view, that the man is responsible for his own behavior when he hears the word no.
I know many men for whom I have profound respect. What I miss in their behavior is that they do not speak out, and I mean speaking out in a way that teaches.
My dad had a phrase to describe bad trouble: “Going to hell in a hand basket.” I think that is a good description of what is happening in the world today.
So guys, that’s my take on what you are up against. I would be very pleased to hear any disagreements from men or women.
In the days of the draft any man could be called upon to demonstrate his courage. Not so these days.