On offending people


I could use a few of these cards.

It’s all relative, I suppose.

I offend what seems to me like a lot of people. It’s not much compared to, say, Donald Trump, but it still seems like a lot to me. Besides, he is rich and famous, and I am neither of those things. My numbers should be much smaller.

I mostly offend women, and this is in spite of the fact that I admire and respect all of them who have taken offense toward me.

One young lady was advised that I might be a danger to her. We had done a bubble bath photo shoot following several clothed traditional shoots, and that apparently prompted her friends to see lust in my motives.

My intention, if I read it correctly, was to affirm and honor her charm and beauty. She has a severe physical handicap, and I wanted to portray the wonder of her that shines past her physical limitations. I meant well.

Another friend simply said don’t call or visit ever again. She made this announcement in a phone call. She told me she would not reveal the offense because I would try to “fix” it, and such was not, in her view, possible.

I offended a lady I considered a good friend while trying to comfort her as she dealt with a personal crisis involving a domestic relationship. I had photographed her many times, always abiding by my rules of total respect and keeping a proper distance. She deemed my attention on the mission of mercy to involve inappropriate touching. I did touch her right thigh. I confess. I wish she had told me at the time. I would have adjusted my behavior.

We live in a world that takes offense easily. If friends do not announce their feelings in time to make adjustments people in antagonistic relationships are not likely to do so. Things seem to me to be getting worse. I encourage people to describe their experience to the people who appear to be causing it. It would definitely help me.

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